28/11/2019 0 Comments Riding out the Kai-highHello Internet! One of the most poignant events of my senior year has been our senior retreat. My high school's senior retreat is Kairos and has been something that I has been excited for since I was a freshmen, but both drawn to the mystery of it since everyone loves it but can't tell you anything about it. You can say that my curious nature was hooked :-). One of my friends that graduated last year raved about and even went back as a leader, so I knew that I should step outside my comfort zone and just do it. Boy was I pleasantly surprised. I went into it very open-minded because I wanted so bad to get something out of it, but feared it not living up to my expectations. It may seem insane, but it was life-changing for me. Kairos has opened my eyes and broadened my horizons to meet new people and embrace the many unique experiences of senior year. “Living the 4th” has inspired me to become more confident and I began to feel this confidence when I began to take photos of everyone at Kairos because it gave me a reason to approach people and get involved with those around me, and talk to them. Through it may seem minor to some, I went to my first high school soccer game and was not afraid of being there without one of my close friends. I was able to go and talk to people that I have known for years but didn’t feel confident to approach before Kairos. I feel that Kairos has helped me realize the importance of reaching out into the community like going to the daily mass before school, even if it's for another house or helping with pep club activities because I see that as a way to "live the 4th" through the small act of helping those around me. I have realized the significance of the people around me, and it has led me to make sacrifices to help those around me like missing homecoming festivities to be at a tournament or moving an overnight visit at a college because my fall sports team made the playoffs and would have to forfeit without me. “Living the 4th” means to me being active at Trinity and not just going through the motions by enjoying each day. I then will try to continue this at college, and then the next part of my life similar to a positive domino effect that even in a little way each day I can “live the 4th”. A possible contribution that I would have to a Kairos retreat is the way that a 4 day, 3 night retreat could ignite this spark in me that led me to be the most outgoing, and social person that I have ever been. I signed up for Kairos last year with an open mind because I wanted to get as much as I could out of it. Fast forward to this September, we get the list of retreatants for the fall Kairos. I knew all of the people going, but I was only close with 2, 3 people at the most, so I said to myself, “self it doesn’t matter who is there because as your sister always says “God always has a plan”. I was slightly worried by not being friends with many of the people going on Kairos, and since Freshman year I have been leery of people after one of my closest friendships from middle school became toxic. I am one of those people that leans on someone because I fear being somewhere without a friend/someone I know. She was my person for a good part of the year, and then she started making plans without me right in front of me. I had instilled trust in her to be a good friend, but she was slowly breaking me down and there were too many nights that I remember crying over her sudden betrayal. I began to question myself and began to blame myself for things that were out of my control. Though at the time it was painful to be in a new school floating between people trying to find friends, I feel that God was guiding me to find new people. Looking back, I am thankful now for the push to meet new people because they are now genuine friends who know me on a deeper level. Kairos made me see my falling out as a positive thing because it brought me closer to the wonderful people that I get to call my friends. I now know the importance of having friends that know the importance of friendship and know the real me. I know myself better because I have found a group of friends that love and wish to be my friend. I have learned the person that I want to become through the little community that I have with my “new” friends. (at this point they have been my friends since freshman/sophomore year) I am a big believer in signs (not superstitious, more of God communicating with us through the little things, or as my 8th grade religion teacher would call them “God Signs”), and reflecting back on my time at Kairos, I witnessed my first sign when we were waiting in the chapel to get on the bus. As we already established, I’m usually a shy/quieter person, but on the other hand, I wanted to start it out right, so I asked one of the girls if she wanted to sit with me on the bus. I knew this girl a little because she sits at my lunch table, but I took that leap of faith to ask her to be my seat buddy. It turns out to be a rewarding leap of faith, because she later was in my small group, and she was very raw in what she shared, and now I consider one of my close friends. Another sign that I truly believe God sent to me was the camera that one of the leaders brought because it was an outlet for me, The camera allowed me to be involved, and wanted by the people around me. I took photos and made memories that will last a lifetime. Kairos allowed me to view the people around me differently. I was able to see them raw and see the struggles they have overcome, but also the triumphs that some have worked so hard for. In the matter of a few hours, they went from people that I see in the halls everyday, to someone that has struggled hardships and some people have experienced downright tragedies that are heavy for them to bear. Everyone was so exposed/vulnerable, but it also lifted a weight off of me, because I now know the community that I have around me just due to the fact that I went to Kairos LXXII, but also from the friendships I have made through my time at Trinity. Now everytime I see someone from Kairos, or even just random people, I think of everything they have overcome and encountered to be the person in front of me today. Even writing about it now, almost a month after experiencing it, I still am brought right back to the community of love that I felt that night. The most tangible way to describe my feelings after Kairos is that I felt that I could talk to anyone and we could easily just be teens experience an amazing retreat. Kairos is worth the hype and then some.
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